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Tag Archives: relaxation

Note to self…

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Juggling.

That’s been the story of my life lately. I’ve been thinking a lot about seasons of life and how we choose what to focus on in each of them. I feel like I’ve been trying to rock it in so many different aspects lately it’s been a wee bit overwhelming. I’ve posted about Finding a Balance before and what I’m discovering is that you have to continually reassess what it means for you.

Summer is coming oh-so-soon and I’m feeling like I need a little more down-time and a little less push to be everything to everyone. This is difficult for me because I have a hard time relaxing until everything is done. But savoring life’s joys is one of the Traits of Happy People and I’m a believer in balance. I think I’ve been a little out of balance lately, and I’m trying to come up with a good plan to remedy this.

On any given day I try to pack in quality time with my kids and hubby, healthy meals, a workout, writing/editing time, reading (which really means audio-books while I’m doing house stuff), keeping my home clean and organized, maintaining/creating awesome living space in my yard, social media, and outside commitments. I’ve cut out TV since the end of last summer because I simply don’t have time. I’ve also been working extra hard lately on my writing commitments, trying to gain as much traction as I can. It’s been so much fun, but also very time consuming. I love, love, love my life and I’m so lucky to have my days packed with things I’m passionate about. I’m just feeling like I’m running from one thing to the next and I think I need a breather!

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Especially as a mother it’s tricky to really keep on top everything because so much of your day can be altered in a split second by cute little kiddos. I would never change those moments- they are what make life sweet and meaningful. I’m just saying it’s easy to have a never ending to do list and it can be tempting to tally your day by what you’ve accomplished. But that can leave you feeling perpetually behind and unsatisfied.

I’m trying to change my metric of success. I want to look at it more in terms of quality of life- did the things I chose to participate in today make me feel happy? Closer to my family? Relaxed? Fulfilled?

My new goal for the summer is to breathe in life’s moments and not be in such a hurry. To Be Present and relax a little.

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I think I seriously need this tattooed on my forehead. :)

Hope you all have a good week! I’m working on my Top Summer Reads like I did for the Summer of 2013, so look for those soon!

Day 10 of “30 Days to Love Yourself” REDUCE STRESS

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Day 10: Identify your largest source of stress and analyze- what can you do to reduce it?

The Blurb: This is what I do when I’m feeling stressed. I make a list of the things that are causing me to worry and figure out the MOST stressful thing.

You need to be honest with yourself and identify if it’s something you can actually change. There’s no sense in worrying about something you don’t have any control over. Here are a few things to help you work through what’s stressing you out:

  • If the stress is from a relationship, are you trying to save something that has turned toxic?
  • Can  you change the timetable?
  • Can it be delegated?
  • Are you stressed because things is your life are out of balance?
  • Are there steps you can take that will put you on the path to accomplishing it? A little preparation can go a long way to mitigate stress. Even making a list of the action items can help.
  • Think of the worst possible outcome and figure out how to handle it. If you have a way to deal with the worst case scenario, your stress will drop because you’ll feel more prepared.
  • Are you putting more emphasis on it than the situation warrants? My wise grandpa aways says to ask yourself: “Will it matter in 500 years?” When the answer is usually NO,  it will help you realize that everything will be ok.
  • Do you feel stressed because you haven’t allotted enough Me Time?
  • Communicate with the people involved. Sometimes there’s a miscommunication and you may be worrying about something unnecessarily.
  • If there’s a way to make a stressful task more fun, try that! For example, if I have a huge list of errands, I make a coffee run on the way, and then break up the errands with one fun detour in the middle. That’s a trite example, but you get the idea.
  • Is it a question of having enough time? Can you rearrange your priorities?
  • Is it something you’ve been putting off? Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and DO IT.

Suggestions: Another tip my sister taught me years ago is to FIX THE LITTLE THINGS. You’ll be shocked at how much better fixing a little detail can make you feel. It’s eliminating the little drip, drip, drip eroding everything at the back of your mind. If there’s a small thing that’s driving you crazy every day, just take a few minutes to fix it. You may not normally give it attention, but if it lessens your overall stress in the day without much effort, get it done.

For example, my dog barks as if masked murderers are infiltrating our house whenever someone knocks at the door. This was driving everyone in our house crazy because it instantly makes the stress level skyrocket. His bark collar battery had died and I hadn’t been able to find a replacement. A little thing that was annoying several times a day. Finally I looked it up the battery info online and ordered it on amazon. Once I fixed the problem I couldn’t figure out why it took me so long in the first place. 

Keeping It Real: 

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Photo of the Day: (In direct violation of the cutting sugar day) Inspired by the great Elizabeth Taylor:

“Pour yourself a drink. Put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.”

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(Obviously, I don’t recommend having wine as an ongoing way to handle stress. :) That’s my disclaimer. The fabulous wine I’m enjoying tonight was from my Napa Trip!)

Hope you are all feeling the love after making it through 1/3 of the project! I designed the project especially to have you feeling your best leading up to Valentines Day. There’s one focus item per day until then. It’s not to late to join in! The you can find the  PREVIOUS POSTS HERE and see below for the diagram outlining each day’s focus.

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You survived to the weekend! Make sure to get in a little time for yourself! I promise you’ll feel better for it!

Lots of love,

Brooke

DAY 1: 30 Days to love Yourself Project – ME TIME

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It’s Day 1 of my 30 Days to Love Yourself Project!  A fresh start, ripe with potential. A gift to yourself.

Day 1 Focus: Carve out one hour of ME time. Relish it without guilt.

The Blurb: To launch this project, I thought a little ME TIME would be a good place to start. If I magically wedged an extra hour of the day today and you had ZERO responsibilities, how would you spend your time? ME TIME is guilt free. It’s what puts a smile on your face, makes you feel lighter, rejuvenated and whole.

Suggestions:  Book. Go outside. Dinner with friend. Workout. Favorite show. Massage. Movie. Cook favorite meal. Coffee/hot chocolate. Bath. Call your BFF. Favorite social media site. Snooze.

Keeping it Real: It’s HARD to find the time to do this. It will take a little practice. I’ve found even if I just have a half hour of time to regroup, I’m MUCH happier and ready to face whatever is thrown my way, and with a toddler, I mean this literally. You are going to have to steal this time out of your day. If you aren’t focusing on it, it probably won’t happen.

For example, my ME time has been a little … nonexistent lately. So, I’m working on it. Today, my teething toddler took an early nap, which is totally out of character. I have a sink full of dishes. I’m in my workout clothes but haven’t done my workout yet. I need to switch the laundry and go grocery shopping. I have edits to work on. BUT. I’m taking a few minutes to sit at my kitchen table and work do this! Today this is fun for me! I’m excited to share this with you. So, I poured myself some chai, turned on some good music, and I’m typing away. Once I’m done, I’m going to keep listening to the book “The Goldfinch,” while I do my workout. BAM. Me time.

Tina Fey has some really funny things to say about ME TIME in her book, Bossypants. If you haven’t read it yet, it’s laugh-out-loud-funny, which of course we expect from her. I listened to the audio version and cracked up the whole time. Tina Fey reads it, which makes it even more awesome. Maybe you could download it for your ME TIME today!

Photo of the Day:

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Ok everyone! Let’s do this! It’s quick and easy and it will make you feel so much better about yourself. Let me know how it’s going for you. What did you do with your ME TIME today??

See you tomorrow! Feel free to share the image below to go along with what you’re doing!

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Brooke

 

The 80/20 Rule

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Have you ever looked back on a time in your life and wondered how everything used to seem so simple, and wondered why it’s not now? Lately I have been so busy running around from one thing to the next, and I have no idea how this happened! I came across this principle called the Parkinson’s Law, which says: “Work expands to fill the time allotted.” As I thought about this, I discovered it’s pretty accurate. So let’s say something might take you 30 minutes, but you have an hour to complete the task, it will probably take you the whole hour. And conversely, if you need an hour to do something, but you only have 30 minutes- if it HAS to get done, somehow you will find a way.

It reminded me a book I read years ago, called “The Four Hour Workweek,” by Timothy Ferris. I immediately LOVED the title because when you’re working 40-60 hours a week… how nice does a 4 hour work week sound?! Essentially, it highlights the 80/20 principle by Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, which says you spend 20% of your time producing 80% of the output. Think of it this way: you know how exciting it is when you have an amazing vacation planned and you’ve been looking forward to it for months, and then the day before you leave town for a week, you turn into a  MULTITASKING-CLEAR-HEADED-ELIMINATE-EVERYTHING-UNNECESSARY-NINJA, and accomplish more in that last day than you have the entire week prior? WHY? Because you’re motivated!  You know as soon as you get through that spreadsheet, or presentation or meeting, you’ll be downing a Bloody Mary on a plane, heading to a tropical destination filled with sun, relaxation, and drinks that sprout umbrellas.

The book presents the idea that you will be more effective with your work if you have a focused amount of time dedicated to it, and also have time allotted for relaxation or something you enjoy. You will feel rejuvenated and motivated to get everything done, if you have something that you love just before or after it. Personally, I think this is a fantastic principle, and I think workplaces would benefit from enforcing this. Not necessarily only working 4 hours, but maybe basing productivity on output rather than hours. I enjoyed my salaried jobs much more than my hourly. At the time when I read this book, I pitched a version of this idea to my boss… but it didn’t fly (shocker).

Now, let’s apply this principle to moms and dads- how clean can you get your house and kids if you find out someone is showing up in fifteen minutes? I can tell you I have accomplished an inhuman amount of cleaning, sprucing up myself and kids, standing at the ready with some sort of beverage and snack to offer by the time I open my door. It’s just a matter of motivation.  I can also tell you if I get just an hour or two break during the week where I’m out of my house, by myself or with friends, it does wonders for rejuvenating my psyche. Especially when kids are little, its important to allow yourself interactions with adults, and alone time with your significant other.

As I was thinking about this, remembering years ago when things seemed simpler, additional stresses and busyness resurfaced in my mind. But somehow, time has mostly weeded those things from my mind. I’ve probably always made myself busy -going back to the Parkinson Law. I don’t like to just sit around, so whatever time I have available to me, I fill up with something.

So, maybe I’ll just keep at it, but reduce the stretches of time where I’m trying to “get things done” and allow myself some more down time. Hopefully, doing that will lead me to increased productivity in less amount of time.  I think I’ll try it- trust the 80/20 rule, since its been around since the early 1900’s.

I’ll let you know how it goes! I’m looking forward to enforcing some relaxation time! Maybe you can do it with me, and if anyone questions you, just say, “Don’t worry about me, I’m just working on my 80/20.”

Have a great weekend!!

Brooke

 

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